how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
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I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
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It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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