I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Randomize
