i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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