Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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