well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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