She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
