OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Randomize
