"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
