Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
