Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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