Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
