the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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