the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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