May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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