We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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