I need help removing her.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
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