She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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