She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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