Fine. I'll sleep in my office
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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