At least make sure they are 18
Why
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Randomize
