Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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