i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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