Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
