Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
