Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
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