Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
