they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
