if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
