dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
