You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
