found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
My cat gives me a boner
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
