Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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