Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
