I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed