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Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
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