I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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