Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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