so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
