Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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