I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
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I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
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Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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