your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
