Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize