I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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