white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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