I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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