dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
