I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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