There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I think pants incapable of making pants work
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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