I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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