he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
