go do what you do best...puke behind churches
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
