Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
i wish my penis had a tongue
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
