just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
