is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Randomize
