Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Randomize
