when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Randomize
