I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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