:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Semen is not good for contacts.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
