i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize