The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
My penis needs a shock collar
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize