i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
